Caden's Birth Story

On May 21, 2014 a sweet little angel came into our lives. Here is the story of how Caden William entered this world.

I was due May 15 but from the beginning of this pregnancy I felt like it would go longer.  I loved being pregnant and I was perfectly content to keep my baby inside of me for some extra growing :) May 15 came and went with no signs Baby was coming.  I had an appointment with the midwife on May 19 and I was 80% effaced and 1 cm dilated. She said Baby was doing great and to come back in a week to get checked again if the baby hadn't come.

On the morning of May 20 I suddenly started to have contractions 8 minutes apart that were fairly strong. They continued for three hours without getting any stronger or closer together so I decided to take a nap to test if it was practice labor. When I woke up the contractions had stopped. Later, at 8 that night the contractions came back suddenly, strong and 8 minutes apart. I thought it might be more practice so I helped Patrick clean the room we were cleaning for the baby (nothing heavy) Around 11 that night we decided to rent a rug doctor and clean the carpets because we knew the baby would be born the next day, contractions had been slowly getting closer together and stronger.

Last Belly Picture!

We stayed up all night, Patrick cleaned the carpets while I kept him company. He would stop cleaning and massage my back when a contraction hit which made the job take twice as long.  Around 5 am we decided to start getting ready to go to the hospital and I took a shower, the water felt great! I didn't want to arrive at the hospital until the contractions were 3 minutes apart so we headed to my parents house to wait and to be closer to the hospital. We dropped our dog off at their house and only stayed there a few minutes before heading to the hospital.

We got to the hospital when the contractions were three and a half minutes apart. I refused a wheelchair at the front door and made it to the elevator before a contraction hit. The people in the elevator with us looked terrified and excited as a contraction rushed over me. We went to check in and the lady didn't realize I was in labor, she asked if I was there for an induction (I was breathing through each contraction and I think she thought I was being dramatic) As she was asking us questions my water broke all over the lobby floor. They brought me a wheelchair and took me to get checked.  I was 100% effaced and 8-9 cm dilated!

I was checked into the hospital around 11:30 am.  I was taken to a labor room and my midwife and nurses arrived instantly. I decided to have a hep lock put in my arm just in case I needed fluids or anything later. It was so uncomfortable for me having it put in my wrist, I felt like it was much more uncomfortable than the contractions, I really don't like having things attached to me!

Patrick was my rock! He was the best support person I ever could have hoped for and I am so extremely grateful for him being there for me! He tried some of the coping techniques we had practiced but then he came up with one of his own.  Counting for me as I breathed. Simple yet so effective. In-2-3, Out-2-3-4-5-6 He was keeping me calm and distracted with nice slow breaths.

Labor progressed and I decided to get in the tub, the water was a great pain reliever! I was progressing and I couldn't stop myself from the urge to push.  My midwife suggested that I get out of the tub to push.  I pushed for about an hour, making slow and steady progress. We found laying on my side was the best position for me and as the big moment came closer I nearly broke a poor girl's hand, I don't even know who she was, probably a nurse. I also bit Patricks hand a couple of times...oops :)

Our beautiful baby was born at 2:52 pm just a few hours after checking in. Caden was pink and crying instantly, he recieved a 9 out of 10 APGAR score in his first minutes. They immediately placed him on my chest and it was love at first sight! The precious, red, gooey being on my chest was  the life that I had been growing, protecting and dreaming about. Patrick cut the cord after it stopped pulsing and the placenta was delivered maybe 3 minutes later.

He was 8 pounds 2 ounces which thrilled me because everyone was estimating that he was going to be small because of how I was carrying him. I was wishing for him to be at least 7 pounds and I got my wish. I honestly do not remember how long he was and I cannot find it written down anywhere... he was somewhere from 19-21 inches tall and that is good enough for me :)

I had some uncommon tearing and they called in an expert to help stitch me up. I am glad I got the hep lock because I lost a lot of blood and they gave me fluids to help replace those that were lost. The stitching took an hour and twenty minutes but I spent the time just loving my beautiful new son!

 I am so grateful that my sweet baby boy made it to us safe and healthy!

My baby in Heaven

I am going to be writing about something very personal to me. I keep having the thought pop into my head that I should write this post, maybe it is for myself, maybe it will help someone else,I do not know but I cannot stop thinking about it.

I have a perfect baby here on Earth with me and I have a perfect baby waiting for me in Heaven. I cannot describe in words my love for them both.  I never got to meet my first baby but I could feel her spirit when she was inside of me. (I was not far enough along to know what gender the baby was but I have always felt  like it was a girl)

I never really understood miscarriage before it happened to me.  I thought that they were rare and that they mostly happened to women who had other health problems or who were older.  I never even imagined that I would lose a baby when I was perfectly healthy at 22 years old. 

When my husband and I decided we were ready to have a baby I got pregnant right away.  We were so excited! We started planning everything immediately.  The baby would be due on Christmas Eve, we planned how to announce it to our families and on Facebook.  I felt a little apprehensive about telling people too early so we decided to wait until the First Trimester was almost over.  

Then, one night, I started spotting blood, we looked it up online and saw that it was potentially normal for the first trimester, we decided to call the doctor in the morning just in case.  When I woke up the next morning I had the most heartbreaking feeling, I felt alone in my body. I knew she was gone. I hadn't realized that I felt a presence from her tiny spirit until I felt the void.

We went to the doctor and an ultrasound confirmed our fears, a tiny body but no heartbeat. They said it was possible that since the baby (fetus) was so small the ultrasound just wasn't picking up the heartbeat.They would take some blood to test my hormone levels. Then I would have more blood taken in two days to see if the hormones went up or down.  The waiting and sliver of hope were almost unbearable. 

All of the doctors and nurses kept telling us how common early miscarriages are, they happen to healthy women all of the time, there was nothing wrong with me etc.  I kept thinking, if it is so normal why  haven't I heard of anyone having one? I only personally know one woman who has lost her baby and it was around five months because of pre-existing health problems. I felt alone.  My husband was there for me completely but I felt like I was the only woman I knew who had experienced this.

A few days after the spotting had started I felt the physical pain.  I knew the pregnancy was over. Even though I felt like her spirit had left me days before it was still very hard on me. I felt like I couldn't tell anyone, like everyone would think I had something wrong with me or wouldn't be able to ever get pregnant.  I was afraid of that too.  I didn't want people to feel sorry for me, I thought it would only make me more sad to know that people were sad for me.  

Looking back now I realize that it would have helped me to know of someone else who had experienced a miscarriage, just to talk to someone who had been in my shoes. I read other women's blog posts on their loss' and it helped me to get past the grief.  

Putting this out there for everyone to know my very personal experience seems strange to me but I know that it is helping me and I sincerely hope that it can help someone else who might have the same experience or feel like they are the only one going through something. You are not alone and I am more than willing to talk about it with you :)

When I was emotionally ready to try for another baby I was extremely grateful that I got pregnant right away again. I was terrified to tell people that I was pregnant.  I was terrified that it would happen again but I have been blessed with a beautiful baby boy and I appreciate that fact every day. 

It was hard to not get to keep my baby here on Earth with me but  I believe with my whole heart that my little baby is waiting in Heaven for me and I know that I will get to be with her after this life.