Caden's Birth Story

On May 21, 2014 a sweet little angel came into our lives. Here is the story of how Caden William entered this world.

I was due May 15 but from the beginning of this pregnancy I felt like it would go longer.  I loved being pregnant and I was perfectly content to keep my baby inside of me for some extra growing :) May 15 came and went with no signs Baby was coming.  I had an appointment with the midwife on May 19 and I was 80% effaced and 1 cm dilated. She said Baby was doing great and to come back in a week to get checked again if the baby hadn't come.

On the morning of May 20 I suddenly started to have contractions 8 minutes apart that were fairly strong. They continued for three hours without getting any stronger or closer together so I decided to take a nap to test if it was practice labor. When I woke up the contractions had stopped. Later, at 8 that night the contractions came back suddenly, strong and 8 minutes apart. I thought it might be more practice so I helped Patrick clean the room we were cleaning for the baby (nothing heavy) Around 11 that night we decided to rent a rug doctor and clean the carpets because we knew the baby would be born the next day, contractions had been slowly getting closer together and stronger.

Last Belly Picture!

We stayed up all night, Patrick cleaned the carpets while I kept him company. He would stop cleaning and massage my back when a contraction hit which made the job take twice as long.  Around 5 am we decided to start getting ready to go to the hospital and I took a shower, the water felt great! I didn't want to arrive at the hospital until the contractions were 3 minutes apart so we headed to my parents house to wait and to be closer to the hospital. We dropped our dog off at their house and only stayed there a few minutes before heading to the hospital.

We got to the hospital when the contractions were three and a half minutes apart. I refused a wheelchair at the front door and made it to the elevator before a contraction hit. The people in the elevator with us looked terrified and excited as a contraction rushed over me. We went to check in and the lady didn't realize I was in labor, she asked if I was there for an induction (I was breathing through each contraction and I think she thought I was being dramatic) As she was asking us questions my water broke all over the lobby floor. They brought me a wheelchair and took me to get checked.  I was 100% effaced and 8-9 cm dilated!

I was checked into the hospital around 11:30 am.  I was taken to a labor room and my midwife and nurses arrived instantly. I decided to have a hep lock put in my arm just in case I needed fluids or anything later. It was so uncomfortable for me having it put in my wrist, I felt like it was much more uncomfortable than the contractions, I really don't like having things attached to me!

Patrick was my rock! He was the best support person I ever could have hoped for and I am so extremely grateful for him being there for me! He tried some of the coping techniques we had practiced but then he came up with one of his own.  Counting for me as I breathed. Simple yet so effective. In-2-3, Out-2-3-4-5-6 He was keeping me calm and distracted with nice slow breaths.

Labor progressed and I decided to get in the tub, the water was a great pain reliever! I was progressing and I couldn't stop myself from the urge to push.  My midwife suggested that I get out of the tub to push.  I pushed for about an hour, making slow and steady progress. We found laying on my side was the best position for me and as the big moment came closer I nearly broke a poor girl's hand, I don't even know who she was, probably a nurse. I also bit Patricks hand a couple of times...oops :)

Our beautiful baby was born at 2:52 pm just a few hours after checking in. Caden was pink and crying instantly, he recieved a 9 out of 10 APGAR score in his first minutes. They immediately placed him on my chest and it was love at first sight! The precious, red, gooey being on my chest was  the life that I had been growing, protecting and dreaming about. Patrick cut the cord after it stopped pulsing and the placenta was delivered maybe 3 minutes later.

He was 8 pounds 2 ounces which thrilled me because everyone was estimating that he was going to be small because of how I was carrying him. I was wishing for him to be at least 7 pounds and I got my wish. I honestly do not remember how long he was and I cannot find it written down anywhere... he was somewhere from 19-21 inches tall and that is good enough for me :)

I had some uncommon tearing and they called in an expert to help stitch me up. I am glad I got the hep lock because I lost a lot of blood and they gave me fluids to help replace those that were lost. The stitching took an hour and twenty minutes but I spent the time just loving my beautiful new son!

 I am so grateful that my sweet baby boy made it to us safe and healthy!

My baby in Heaven

I am going to be writing about something very personal to me. I keep having the thought pop into my head that I should write this post, maybe it is for myself, maybe it will help someone else,I do not know but I cannot stop thinking about it.

I have a perfect baby here on Earth with me and I have a perfect baby waiting for me in Heaven. I cannot describe in words my love for them both.  I never got to meet my first baby but I could feel her spirit when she was inside of me. (I was not far enough along to know what gender the baby was but I have always felt  like it was a girl)

I never really understood miscarriage before it happened to me.  I thought that they were rare and that they mostly happened to women who had other health problems or who were older.  I never even imagined that I would lose a baby when I was perfectly healthy at 22 years old. 

When my husband and I decided we were ready to have a baby I got pregnant right away.  We were so excited! We started planning everything immediately.  The baby would be due on Christmas Eve, we planned how to announce it to our families and on Facebook.  I felt a little apprehensive about telling people too early so we decided to wait until the First Trimester was almost over.  

Then, one night, I started spotting blood, we looked it up online and saw that it was potentially normal for the first trimester, we decided to call the doctor in the morning just in case.  When I woke up the next morning I had the most heartbreaking feeling, I felt alone in my body. I knew she was gone. I hadn't realized that I felt a presence from her tiny spirit until I felt the void.

We went to the doctor and an ultrasound confirmed our fears, a tiny body but no heartbeat. They said it was possible that since the baby (fetus) was so small the ultrasound just wasn't picking up the heartbeat.They would take some blood to test my hormone levels. Then I would have more blood taken in two days to see if the hormones went up or down.  The waiting and sliver of hope were almost unbearable. 

All of the doctors and nurses kept telling us how common early miscarriages are, they happen to healthy women all of the time, there was nothing wrong with me etc.  I kept thinking, if it is so normal why  haven't I heard of anyone having one? I only personally know one woman who has lost her baby and it was around five months because of pre-existing health problems. I felt alone.  My husband was there for me completely but I felt like I was the only woman I knew who had experienced this.

A few days after the spotting had started I felt the physical pain.  I knew the pregnancy was over. Even though I felt like her spirit had left me days before it was still very hard on me. I felt like I couldn't tell anyone, like everyone would think I had something wrong with me or wouldn't be able to ever get pregnant.  I was afraid of that too.  I didn't want people to feel sorry for me, I thought it would only make me more sad to know that people were sad for me.  

Looking back now I realize that it would have helped me to know of someone else who had experienced a miscarriage, just to talk to someone who had been in my shoes. I read other women's blog posts on their loss' and it helped me to get past the grief.  

Putting this out there for everyone to know my very personal experience seems strange to me but I know that it is helping me and I sincerely hope that it can help someone else who might have the same experience or feel like they are the only one going through something. You are not alone and I am more than willing to talk about it with you :)

When I was emotionally ready to try for another baby I was extremely grateful that I got pregnant right away again. I was terrified to tell people that I was pregnant.  I was terrified that it would happen again but I have been blessed with a beautiful baby boy and I appreciate that fact every day. 

It was hard to not get to keep my baby here on Earth with me but  I believe with my whole heart that my little baby is waiting in Heaven for me and I know that I will get to be with her after this life.

Ticks... bleh!

I have always been terrified of ticks! With pretty much any other bug (except leeches) I can acknowledge their purpose in life and be o.k. living in proximity to them.  Something about how leeches and ticks invade the human body freaks me out.  

When I was going to girls' camp when I was 12, I came up with a brilliant plan to protect myself from ticks.  At all times I would wear leggings (before they were so popular) tucked into my socks under my jeans (often tucked into another pair of socks) and I would always wear an undershirt tucked into my pants and a long sleeve shirt.  Then to top it off I doused my ankles, waist, wrists, arms and neck in bug spray.  I was beyond prepared.

I am not ashamed to say that to this day I am still terrified of ticks and still take some of the above precautions, if you go camping or hiking with me don't be surprised when I show up with leggings tucked into knee socks under my jeans and I am dying of heat, it makes me feel safe.

At camp they taught us about Lyme Disease, and I know this seems crazy but at the age of 12 I had a feeling that I would come close to the disease (even though the counselors persisted that it was very rare).  I thought that I would be the unlucky one to receive this lovely gift from my nemesis.

Some of you may know the relevance of my twelve year old feelings about Lyme Disease.  My future husband was serving an LDS service mission in Cochobamba, Bolivia when he first felt the symptoms.  He eventually got a medical release and came home before his two years were up.  After a long 7 months of not knowing what exactly was wrong with him, he was diagnosed.  Lyme Disease, most often transmitted through TICKS.  Can you believe that!  Luckily, Patrick never had a tick (I think it was a bed bug or mosquito that gave it to him) but he still got that pesky disease... and 5+ years later... still has it. We are working on getting rid of it, for good!

In this picture I am bundled up because of the cold and not Ticks but I just wanted to give you a visual: That is probably  three layers of pants, and I can count three sweat shirts, a beanie, a poofy coat and I am sure I have at least two layers underneath on top. Probably three pairs of socks; various lengths. Layers and I have a great relationship, stemming from camping in my youth :)

Our Baby-Dog

On March 25, 2012 (our year and a half anniversary) we went to Petco to look at the animals up for adoption.  We had made a habit of going once a week for a mini date.  We were planning on getting a dog when our apartment was finished so, at the time, we were "just looking".  I really wanted a dog that had hair instead of fur so I had my blinders on.  The only dog with hair was "Freckles" a 13 year old, rough and tired looking dog.  He was sweet but I could sense that this little guy was towards the end of his rope. We were hoping for a "family dog" for when we have kids down the road, sweet little Freckles was not the dog for us.

I had gone on to look at the bunnies when I heard a life changing phrase.....

 "Manda, look this dog's name is Honey"

I looked down at the beautiful tannish-red dog curled up in a ball in front of me.  She barely even raised her head to look at us when we talked to her.  I thought she must be almost as old as Freckles until the lady from the Humane Society told us she was only 1 year and 5 months old!

What!?!

She is still a puppy?

The lady brought her out of the kennel and instantly Honey jumped up to give her a hug.  I could just feel the love and affection Honey was giving off.  "Every time I let her out of her kennel she jumps up to give me a hug, to thank me for letting her out"

SOLD

As I looked into her big brown eyes I felt like I could see her soul. I knew I couldn't leave the store without her.  Patrick took one look at my face and instantly called his parents. (We are living in their basement and they are the ones building an apartment for us)

Honestly, I was kinda freaked out.  We were about to add a new member to our family.  I am a total planner and I had planned on getting a dog in a few months.  I can only imagine how new parents feel because I was overwhelmed with being responsible for a dog.
The in-laws said it was ok to get her and our new little family was born.

Shaved belly from being "fixed" before adoption

I am so obsessed with my little girl! Some people have babies, I have my dog.  A large majority of the pictures on my phone are of this little one :)

"Honey" is actually something I call Patrick all of the time so our baby was renamed "Sadie" but is very often called Honey too. It was too confusing when I was commanding both of them without meaning to 

 I could not have asked for a better dog.  She loves her kennel, snuggling and car rides, when she has been naughty she puts herself in her kennel (I am hoping that our kids do that too) she is super smart (she watches me leave for school in the mornings and knows that when I text Patrick at the end of work it means she get to open the garage and greet me at my car) and the kicker...

She LOVES to give us hugs!  When we get home, HUG, after she is naughty and forgiven, HUG, when I leave for school, HUG  etc. etc.

She is also super patient and will put up with just about anything... here are some examples

Snuggling with Daddy

I looked down and she was just looking at me with her nose covered, I do not know how long she had it there before I saw it but I am pretty sure she was trying to show me how cute she looked!

Tinkerbell for Halloween

She slipped off the couch and was just hanging out there

On a car-ride!

Little Devil

A bow for Christmas

I told you I am obsessed!

Let's Start At The Very Beginning...

Looking Back
So, as none of you know, I actually started this blog back in 2010... almost 2 1/2 years ago.  There were many times when I though that I should finally write something and post it to Facebook (because that seems to be what young newlyweds are supposed to do these days)  but I always feel strange thinking that if I post about my life, people would want to read about it.  I decided that I really appreciate reading about friends I never get to see anymore and am hoping that someone feels the same way about my blog.  
Here we go.....

My dear husband Patrick and I met in October 2009, I instantly knew our souls had been separated for too long.  We got married on September 25, 2010 in the gorgeous Salt Lake Temple. 

The funny thing about our relationship was the timing... I was 18 and 3 months old when I met my sweet Patrick.  I never, ever wanted to be the cliche' LDS Utah girl who got married right out of high school, I actually had plans to avoid it.  I purposely did not go to BYU because everyone told me that if I went down there I would get married young.

Long story short, I met my soul mate when I was still very young and I decided that I was not going to let age be the reason I lost true love (I had to convince him that I am very mature for my age and he was able to look past the number, thank goodness!)

I told Patrick that I DID NOT want to be married when I was 18 years old.  So on my 19th birthday we became OFFICIALLY ENGAGED (we had been unofficially engaged for 5 months already)

Our wedding and reception were picture perfect and everything I could have ever wanted.  One theme of the reception was "Lovebirds" and I thought that was the perfect title for our blog.

 I know these are Doves and not Lovebirds but they matched the colors better and after the reception you can set them free and they fly back to the aviary, pretty cool.

Even though I had a plan for when I was going to get married etc. I cannot begin to express how happy I am with the timing of my life and the twists and turns it has taken.  I know that our Heavenly Father has a plan for us and I have learned to listen with my heart and go where life takes me  <3 I wouldn't trade my love for anything!